


Law and Value

by downtowndystopia



Category: Glee
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Asexuality, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-29
Updated: 2014-08-29
Packaged: 2018-02-15 07:23:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2220528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/downtowndystopia/pseuds/downtowndystopia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a society where everyone must be married by age 18, Kurt and Blaine have been arranged to be married since they were born. They become quick friends, and eventual lovers. There is one thing Kurt hasn't told anyone though, not even Blaine. He is asexual. In his society that means immediate imprisonment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Law and Value

**Author's Note:**

> Read/reblog/like on my tumblr at downtowndystopia.tumblr.com

_When two persons reach age eighteen they shall marry. Arranged marriages are encouraged to promote choice. Each newborn will be marked with either heterosexual, bisexual, or homosexual, determined by blood test. If two persons do not marry by two months after the older party's eighteenth birthday they will be subject to imprisonment, fines, and it will be issued on their criminal record. Lastly, if a person ends up falling under the undetectable class 'Asexual' they will be subject to immediate imprisonment and rehabilitation._

It's law, everyone knows it, accepts it. Kurt never had an issue with it, when his parents explain that him and Blaine are going to married one day like in the movies, he is excited. As he grows up him and Blaine become the best of friends. It's a perfect situation for everyone.

Kurt realizes that being married means having sex at age ten.

He doesn't know what “sex” is, really. He knows that it as an abstract concept, something two betrothed persons share on their wedding night. In school they have sex ed for the first time, and Kurt learns what it is.

And it terrifies him.

It shouldn't, he doesn't know why it does. He knows Blaine would never hurt him or pressure him. It's something he should talk about with Blaine. He even  _plans_  to talk about it with Blaine that day; in his ten-year-old mind it's the obvious solution.

Until he hears the hushed whispers of his teacher and principal debating whether to include a lesson about the asexuals (a term he'd never heard.)

_“It's better if they never know. Then they can't be tempted.”_

Once Kurt hears that, and the word 'defective' spat from his usually-so-kind teacher's mouth he knows he can't tell a soul; not even Blaine.

Kurt’s secret keeps him up at night, tossing and turning because he isn't experiencing  _those_  dreams. Not when he's thirteen and he slow dances with Blaine at their Sadie Hawkins dance. Not at fourteen when he accidentally stumbles upon one of Blaine’s porn site (and oh god that's what sex is? Is that what Blaine wants to do to him?) He keeps his secret locked tight, just on the edge of breaking out.

When Blaine kisses him at fifteen his world lights on fire and he thinks that there might be hope. He prays that the dreams come, that the desire to do  _that_  will finally place itself in his brain. If kissing Blaine feels like that, if dating Blaine can feel so perfect and so good, then sex can too, right?

Except the dreams don't come. Blaine doesn't push, not when they're fifteen and fumbling, or sixteen and slightly more experienced (but in the long run just children.) Even at seventeen Blaine doesn't push further than horizontal kissing (which is...okay. Except for the time Kurt felt Blaine’s erection poking his hip—oh god.)

When they're almost eighteen it's time for them to marry. By then Kurt has taken multiple classes on his 'husbandly duties', including specifics he'd really rather not know. He knows that consummating the marriage, while not actually government-checked, is law. He knows that Blaine is going to expect sex on their wedding night.

They haven't talked about it; about sex. Blaine tried when they were younger, but Kurt kicked him out and it took a written apology and a bouquet of roses to fix that train wreck of a conversation, so Blaine never tries again.

Tonight, a week before their wedding, Blaine knows he has to try.

“Hey Kurt,” Blaine says, grabbing Kurt around the waist, pulling them side-by-side on Blaine’s bed.

“Hey yourself,” Kurt smiles, kissing him softly. They're definitely in the pre-wedding bliss stage since everything has been taken care of, with no stresses about flowers or photographers being present in their minds.

“So we're getting married in a week...” Blaine starts, smirking up at Kurt.

“I know!” Kurt squeals. “Can you believe it? In a week we're going to be married and starting our lives together. I'm so happy,” he admits.

“That's good,” Blaine says, taking Kurt’s hand. “Because before we get married I think we should have a little talk.”

Kurt's face drops. “What do you mean a 'talk'?”

“I mean we should talk,” Blaine says, hesitating before adding “About the wedding...night”

“The wedding night,' Kurt repeats incredulously. “What about it?”

Blaine huffs in frustration. “Okay I’m just going to say it. Sex, Kurt. We need to talk about sex.”

Kurt's stomach drops. All this time dreading this moment, and it's finally here. “We don't have to do that,” he says quietly.

“We have to talk about it,' Blaine says. “Just a little bit, I promise. But we do have to discuss...things. I mean we've never gone further than kissing—which I was totally okay with--”

“Was?” Kurt interrupts.

“Well yeah,” Blaine says. “We're going to be married. By law we have to  _consummate_  it,” he says. “You do want to consummate it right? You're not--”

'No!” Kurt yells. “I'm not-not like  _that_. Of course I want to do that with you.”

“Good,” Blaine smiles, snuggling up to Kurt’s side. “I don't want t do anything that  _you_  don't want to do though; especially on our wedding night. There's no law that says we have to do everything or that either of us has to—uh—take a  _certain_  role. If you know what I mean.”

“I know what you mean,” Kurt says blankly, trying to hide his embarrassment and fear. “Maybe if we just stuck to the...not going all the way?” Kurt tries. He can...he can do something sexual with Blaine; he has to.

“Of course,” Blaine says. “We can work our way up the sexy ladder,” he jokes. “Now let's makeout and cuddle because we're awesome fiances in love okay?”

“Okay,” Kurt says, trying to smile. When Blaine kisses him he still feels fireworks, but the fear dulls it. When Blaine is spooning him, dozing off, Kurt can't help but let a few tears fall. He never expected Blaine to accept his asexuality (eight years later and he can finally say it, not out loud, but he can admit it to himself.) While he knows that nobody, including himself, accepts asexuals...well he had hoped that maybe Blaine would be different, stronger. Now he just feels numb.

*

The wedding day is beautiful. So beautiful that Kurt can almost put away his fears for what will happen that night. Almost.

There are lilacs everywhere, the bridesmaids and groomsmen are dressed all in pastels for spring. They hold the ceremony at a lavish Cathedral, but no religious vows are said (as per Kurt’s request/insistence.) They say 'I do' and kiss, people cheer, Kurt cries,  _Blaine_  cries, and everything, in that moment, is perfect.

The party is beautiful, the speeches are heartfelt, it all feels like a movie; a moment too perfect to be nonfiction. It's real though, and Kurt knows this when it's time for them to get into the limousine that will take them to their hotel room. This is real. Kurt has to have sex with Blaine.

*

“So,” Blaine says excitedly, bouncing on the bed of their honeymoon sweet. “What should we do first?”

“Shower?” Kurt offers.

“Together?” Blaine waggles his eyebrows.

Kurt blushes. “Um maybe not this time.”

Blaine looks a little disappointed but smiles anyways; nothing could ruin this night. “Okay,” he breathes. “But first, I require a kiss.”

“That, I can do,” Kurt smiles, leaning down to kiss Blaine tenderly. Blaine parts his lips and licks into Kurt’s mouth; it's a familiar gesture, but knowing what Blaine wants it to lead to makes Kurt freeze. “I'm going to take that shower now,” he says, slipping out of a distraught Blaine’s arms.

Kurt locks the door and turns on the shower. While the water pressure is fabulous, being left alone with his thought is terrible. I _s Blaine going to be naked when he comes out of the shower? Is he supposed to wear his clothes back into the room? Nothing?Oh god what is he going to do if Blaine is just...there...naked?_  He's never seen another naked man in person and he's not sure if he ever wants to see one.

Eventually he has to get out of the shower, he slips on a robe as a compromise and walks into the bedroom. “Hi,” he says shyly. Blaine is still mostly dressed. He's still wearing his dress pants and button-down, but took off his suit, shoes, and bowtie.

“Wow,” Blaine says breathlessly. “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” Kurt blushes.

“You're okay with this right?” Blaine asks, walking towards Kurt, circling his arms around Kurt’s waist.

Kurt hesitates before deciding that he has to lie; for both of them. “Yeah, of course,” he brushes off.

“Okay,” Blaine smiles. “Shall we go to the bed then?”

“Mhm,” Kurt hums nervously. Blaine leads them to the bed, pushing Kurt into the pillows. Kurt lands with a surprised  _ooph_  and Blaine climbs on top of him.

“God I’ve been thinking—for years—about what's under that robe of yours,” Blaine says, straddling Kurt’s hips. Blaine unbuttons his own shirt (and while Kurt appreciates Blaine’s body because it's beautiful, he also feels trapped.)

Before Blaine tugs the knot holding Kurt’s robe together, he kisses Kurt’s neck, pressing hard, sucking kisses to Kurt’s skin. He makes his way down Kurt’s collarbone, dragging his teeth over it. Kurt feels like he is going to be sick. Blaine nudges the robe partially out of the way to get to Kurt’s nipple and Kurt jolts—not with pleasure but with disgust and fear—Blaine takes it as encouragement however, finally tugging on Kurt’s robe.

“ _Stop_!” Kurt cries, hyperventilating. “Stop stop stop stop,” he chants, even though Blaine stopped the second Kurt asked him to, and is current off the bed trying to calm his husband down.

“Kurt, baby I’m not doing anything,” Blaine tries to say, but Kurt just keeps hyperventilating. “Kurt I think you're having an anxiety attack, you need to breathe.” But all Kurt can do is cry and hyperventilate until ultimately, he passes out.

Some wedding night.

*

“Kurt? Are you okay?” Blaine asks, five minutes later when Kurt comes to.

“Did we do it?” Kurt asks miserably.

Blaine blanches. “Kurt you were passed out of course I didn't do anything to you, oh my god.”

Kurt feels both relieved and even more terrified. Maybe if he could have just had it over and done with, without having to actually be there...it would be worse; he knows that. It doesn't stop him from wishing though.

“Kurt you had an anxiety attack, I couldn't calm you down and you passed out for a couple minutes.”

“That was only a couple minutes?” Kurt asks. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.”

“Yeah so do I,” Blaine says. “What  _was_  that? Did someone...do something? To you?”

“No!” Kurt reassures. “No one ever...no what we did was the farthest I’ve ever gone before. With anyone.”

“Okay,” Blaine says, relieved. “So why did you have the panic attack then? I hope you're not insecure about your body because Kurt, you're beautiful and--”

“I'm not insecure about my body,” Kurt says in frustration. “Just...can we please just go to bed?”

Blaine again, looks disappointed, but tries not to let it show. “Okay,” he says softly. “You go change into your pyjamas in the washroom, I’ll do it here. We'll just cuddle for the rest of the night okay?”

“Thank you,” Kurt says.

“You don't have to thank me for not forcing sex on you Kurt,” Blaine says bitterly. “I'm not a monster.”

“I know,” Kurt smiles softly. “But thank you. I love you.”

“Go change into your pyjamas,” Blaine replies, he tries not to be cold but Kurt doesn't miss the fact that Blaine didn't say 'I love you' back.

The next morning is awkward, to say the least. Blaine is in the shower when Kurt wakes up so he decides to feign sleep a little longer. After last night he really needs the comfort of his best friend and husband. When Blaine gets out of the shower, however, he doesn't return to bed. Kurt can hear him walking around the room. Kurt decides that pretending to sleep isn't getting him anywhere so he rolls over and smiles at Blaine. “Hey soldier,” he smiles. “Sleep okay?”

“Um,” Blaine says dumbly. “Not really?” Kurt frowns. “Are we just going to pretend that last night didn't happen?”

“We could try,” Kurt mumbles.

“Kurt you are my best friend, my husband, and my soulmate okay? You can tell me anything and I’ll never judge you or love you less.”

Kurt wants to tell him the truth, wants to tell him everything. But he can't. So, yet again, he lies.

“I'm just not ready yet. I didn't want to tell you because it's embarrassing,” he explains, looking down in shame.

“Oh baby,” Blaine coos. “You should have just told me, I wouldn't have minded,” he says, petting Kurt’s head soothingly. Kurt knows he'd appeased him. For now.

“You still love me then?” Kurt asks weakly. It's so petty but Blaine not saying it back last night, it killed him.

“Kurt of course I still love you,” Blaine says incredulously.

“You just...you didn't say it back last night,” he mumbles.

“I was scared and frustrated, and yes without context, a little mad,” Blaine explains.

“Okay,” Kurt smiles.

“Good,” Blaine kisses him. “We're going to do things at your pace okay? You're barely past eighteen it's perfectly okay to not be ready yet.”

Little does Blaine know that Kurt’s pace is more of an iceberg.  
*

Blaine learns that Kurt’s 'pace' for them being intimate is more than glacial about a month in. He doesn't know why he expected that Kurt would be okay with having sex once they were in their own (shared) home. He doesn't know why  _Kurt_  isn't ready either. They've been dating for  _years_. How could Kurt still not be ready for sex? He isn’t even talking going all the way he just wants  _something_. Something that includes their bodies together, sharing intimacy, love. He's been a horny teenage boy for their entire romantic relationship and not once did he push for more. Now he's thinking that he should have; maybe Kurt would be less scared about it if they had bitten the bullet earlier.

Kurt knows that Blaine is more than antsy about having sex. Kurt is terrified that one day Blaine is going to leave him, report him to the authorities, and just find someone else. Someone better.  _He deserves better_ , Kurt thinks. He knows it's insane; Blaine will never leave him or get him arrested. Still, he is terrified.

Three months in and Blaine is more impatient than ever, trying for more only to have Kurt push him away politely. It feels like rejection, even if to Kurt it's not, it leaves blaine feeling like he is unwanted.

“Are you even attracted to me?” Blaine asks one day over dinner. They're both in New York but school hasn't started yet. Their apartment is quaint but nice. Not something to raise a family in, but for two newlyweds it works just fine.

“Of course I’m attracted to you, Blaine,” Kurt dismisses.

“Really?” Blaine accuses. “Because it's been three months, Kurt. Three months. I understand not being ready but I feel like maybe you're just not attracted to me that way. I know mixing up friendship and romance can be weird--”

“Blaine we've been dating for three years, trust me I’m attracted to you, okay? I haven't just lulled myself into this sense of hyper-friendship.”

“Then why haven't we had sex yet?” Blaine asks. “I don't want to be  _that_  guy. I don't want t push you, but we could face actual  _legal_  consequences if anyone found out.”

“And how would they prove it?” Kurt asks. “There's a bodily autonomy law for a reason, Blaine.”

“Fine,” Blaine says, ending the conversation. “I'm going to go out--”

“Where are you going?” Kurt asks weakly.

“Out,” Blaine repeats coldly. He wouldn't cheat would he? Go to the authorities? Thoughts of Blaine, alone, with others. Or worse, telling others. It terrifies him.

“Wait!” Kurt says, panicked. “Don't go.”

“Kurt I just need some air.”

“Please stay,” he says, trying his best to be seductive. “I can make it worth your while,” he says, nervously dropping to his knees, blocking Blaine from getting out the door; not knowing at all what he's doing.

“Kurt that line was terrible,” Blaine says. “I thought you don't watch porn,” he smirks. Kurt is still on his knees. He can do this.

“I want to,” he lies. “I want to...to make you feel good.”

“Okay,” Blaine says slowly, trying to understand the turn of events. “Maybe let's move to the bedroom?”

Kurt doesn't want to corrupt his love of their bedroom with what he is about to do. “The couch,” Kurt says. “I can't wait,” he adds.

“Okay who are you and what did you do with Kurt?” Blaine jokes weakly, walking backwards to their couch. Kurt crawls, he doesn't know what the proper etiquette for this is. Apparently Blaine finds it very hot, Kurt can feel him hardening through his pants the second Blaine hits the couch. Kurt, with shaking hands, starts unzipping Blaine’s pants, breathing shakily, too close, too much.

“Kurt maybe we should uh—kiss or something? First?” Blaine suggests, but like their bedroom Kurt doesn't want to sully their kisses with this.

“Just let me—just let me do this, okay?” Kurt says, a bit desperate. Blaine nods, looking up at the ceiling disbelievingly. Kurt lowers his mouth onto Blaine’s clothed crotch. He has no clue how to do this. He kisses at Blaine through his underwear and Blaine is looking at him weirdly, so he quickly tries to get Blaine’s underwear and pants off. His hands are shaking so hard though, he just can't.

“Kurt?” Blaine asks, doing up his pants. “Kurt, come on. Talk to me.”

Kurt shakes his head, running to the washroom, locking the door. He finds himself dry-heaving over the toilet through his tears. He had tried so hard.

“Kurt,” Blaine says loudly through the door, trying to open it. “Please don't—oh my god are you puking?”

“No,” Kurt calls out miserably through sobs.

“Kurt open the door right now,” Blaine says. “Kurt I swear to god.”

Kurt unlocks the door before curling in on himself on the bathroom floor. “I'm sorry,” he mutters numbly. He knows this is the end.

“We need to talk,” Blaine says firmly. “Now. And not on the bathroom floor so get up.”

Kurt nods miserably, following Blaine into their living room.

“You're asexual, aren't you?” Blaine says.

Kurt is quiet for a moment before nodding slightly. Blaine sighs in frustration and defeat.

“I've never been able to say it out loud. I can barely admit it to myself. But yes, I am...I'm a-asexual,” he mumbles. Blaine’s face is unreadable. That's what makes him truly break. He starts shaking with sobs that physically jerk his body in unnatural ways. He feels free, finally free. Only to, what? Spend the rest of his life in jail? To lose Blaine? To be marked as defective?

“Please,” he sobs. “Please just—please don't tell the cops. Tell them anything but that  _please_. Don't send me to jail I’m sorry, I’m so sorry please--”

“ _Kurt_ ,” Blaine says, so softly Kurt can barely hear him. The emotion is clear though. “I love you,” he says simply. “I would never-- _ever_  fucking send you to prison. How could you even think that? How could you think that I would send the one person in this world that I love more than anything to prison for something he can't choose?”

“I'm s-sorry I--” Kurt sobs, unable to form a full sentence.

“Sh, sh, come here,” Blaine says, holding Kurt in his arms. “While spending the rest of my life a virgin isn't what I was expecting, it means nothing significant so long as I can spend the rest of my life with  _you_.”

“Really?” Kurt asks, trying not to get his hopes up.

“Kurt we have known each other since we were born. You were my first friend, my best friend. Then you were my boyfriend,” he says, rubbing his thumb gently across Kurt’s cheekbone. “And now you're my husband,” he says firmly. “I take those vows very seriously, Kurt. I’m not abandoning you. Ever.”

“I'm so sorry I’m like this,” Kurt says, lost in his thoughts. “I promise I’ll-I'll be able to give you  _something_  eventually. Sexually.”

“I don't need that,” Blaine says. “All I need is you.”

Kurt looks into his husband's eyes and decides that the system, the arranged marriages, the laws on asexuality, the laws on what is okay and what isn't, can go fuck themselves. He doesn't need anything from this system except for Blaine. The one gift this fucked up system has given him, and he isn't letting go. Not for anything in the world.


End file.
